— Sri Rajeshwari (Volunteer Counsellor)
Raju, a software engineer, lost his father when he was only four years old. His mother raised him single-handedly with utmost difficulty and determination. Now, in her last stages of cancer, she was admitted to the hospital for palliative care. Being a family of just two, Raju was very close to his mother.
When we were counselling him he expressed his feelings like a small child. He said that if his mother were to leave him he wouldn’t be able to bear the pain. While he was talking to us, his cousin sister who was sitting beside his mother, came out and broke the news that his mother was no more. Raju burst into tears. He was petrified of being alone. His cousin sister somehow managed to take him near his mother. In that moment we too lost our composure pained by the effect of this news on Raju.
Life lessons we learnt from this incidence:
- It is not just the Cancer patients, their adult children too bear the pain of Cancer.
- Children, friends and relatives will be affected emotionally and financially by the loss of cancer patients. Some may lose hope, opt for detachment from the society, get into anxiety or depression. They may also suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder(PTSD). Grief is inevitable. Each aggrieved person needs counselling for few months.
- Talking about feelings and personal needs with honesty, sincerity and openness lowers the stress. Family and friends play a life giving role here. If someone is having a hard time, they should consider joining a support group, or talk with counsellor or social worker.
